Sunday, June 17, 2012

marrying a gentleman

i ran across this print on etsy and ordered it immediately,  partly because i will absolutely hang it in my future son's room (when and if i have a boy), but mostly because i am reminded of it every day, being married to jeff, my old-fashioned gentleman.

i think it is important for me to preface all of this with the fact that i took my fair share of womens' studies classes at unc and would absolutely define myself as independent.  i didn't walk through life waiting for a man to do things for me.  all that being said, i can't tell you how many times i've been in an elevator with a guy and been floored when he cuts right in front of me the minute the door opens.  maybe it's the southern girl in me, but i just find it to be rude.

it makes me so happy when i see jeff being thoughtful and considerate to those around him.  for example, yesterday when my new hairdresser (thanks for the referral, tita) was walking out to her car with her mobile office (aka suitcase) and jeff insisted on carrying it out to her car, she was so taken aback by it.  she must have said "really? you'd do that?"  at least three times.  when she left she said "you are such a gentleman and there aren't that many left." i think she was genuinely shocked by jeff's graciousness, but that's just who he is.  on one of our very first dates, we had both driven separately to a bar and when i got up to pay the valet said jeff had already taken care of it.  that was such a gentleman move.  and if you didn't know this, jeff is an identical twin and his brother is exactly the same way (nice work, debby).  it makes me so happy to know that my two nieces are growing up with such an incredible father and what a gift to be able to give your daughters - showing them how men should behave.

jeff is the man who showed up at my door on our first date with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  he's the man who still opens the door for me -- and not only my car door, but my friends' doors, as well.  he's the man who wears the same cologne that jfk wore.  he's the man who offered up his seat multiple times on a new york subway, only to be met with nasty glares from independent new york women, stating "no, i'm fine!"  he's the man who respects his elders and always stops to open doors for old ladies.  he's the man who bought a police officer behind us in line dinner.  he's the man who works incredibly hard, but rarely complains.  he's the man who always brings me home a thoughtful gift when he travels for work. he's the man who took me on a very lovely mini-break for our first trip together and refused to let me pay for one thing.  he's the man who knows the importance of nice quality wrapping paper and yet is also 100% handy around the house.  he's the man who wakes up early to make me a coffee in the morning.  he's the man who looks you in the eye when he shakes your hand.  he's the man who treats my girlfriends to dinner. he's the first man that told me it was okay to be my goofy self.  he's the man that called my dad, my mom and my sister separately to ask permission before marrying me.  he's the man who makes me feel so, so loved and he was definitely worth the wait.

i know we're all independent women and can 100% take care of ourselves, but it's nice to have a gentleman around.  tell me, what was the last chivalrous thing a man has done for you?


  1. This was so sweet. Your love story is wonderful - and gives this (almost) 29 year old single (but happy) girl some justification for my faith that I will meet someone great too!

  2. they are quite a pair, aren't they - those voris boys?

    i told my dad yesterday "thanks for showing me what to look for in a man to marry" and i really should have (and now will!) said the same thing to j. - "thanks for showing our girls the way they ought to be treated every single day."

    j. still opens car doors for me after 20+ years. it is one thing that i never take for granted and still makes my heart leap just a little bit every time he does it. (and yesterday both em and i were all dressed up for the ballet and he walked us both to the car and opened the doors for us and helped us in...big heart leaps seeing him do it for both of his girls.)

    1. that melts my heart that he opened the doors for both you and em - but, of course he did!

  3. So true! I am definitely an independent woman, but I still love the gentlemanly gestures my husband does for me. I know he knows that I can do just fine by myself, but he wants to show me that he loves and respects me so he opens the car door, carries ALL my shopping bags inside, (seriously, if there are like 25 bags, he will get all 25 on 2 arms and hand me the keys lol), etc.