Wednesday, June 13, 2012

the difference between dating in your 20s and your 30s

my friend tita posted this garfunkel and oates video on my fb wall a couple of weeks ago and i think it perfectly sums up how different dating can be, depending on what box you are in.  click on the picture above to watch the video and i promise you'll laugh.

in my twenties i felt optimistic and hopeful, but once i entered my thirties i noticed that guys on (who were my age by the way) only wanted to date girls in their twenties.  anytime i went out, i was constantly asked the dreaded question "are you dating?" and although i could have expounded upon how the last really cool guy that i just went out on what i thought was an excellent date never called back, i just simply answered "no." people didn't know how to respond. they just looked at me with pity and gave me the generic response "oh, don't worry. you'll find him when you're not looking."  what people don't realize when they say that is you are aware, almost every single day, that you are single and you are trying your best to not be.  but, you also have to live your life and be happy with where you are.  the bottom line is that if you are dating in yours 20s it is just not the same as when you are still single in your 30s, 40s.  you're aware of your age, your fertility, but yet you are trying not to freak about it.

tell me are you single, partnered off, divorced?  what advice would you give to your 20-year-old self?


  1. I'd tell my 20-year-old self that sometimes it's better to be alone than to date douchebags. ;) Definitely guilty of doing that a few times, simply because I was lonely!

  2. I'd tell my 20-something self to stay single, enjoy my girlfriends, travel the world and spend nice evenings with guys who treat me like a lady.

  3. Okay, this video is hysterical ... and ridiculously true. :)

    True as it is though, it's still tough, because Erin is right: better to be alone than with a douchebag! Settling is the WORST thing a girl any age can do ... but sometimes that means you're alone later in life than you want to be. Sigh. Being a girl is AWESOME, but it's never easy. :)

  4. I'm engaged. I will be 38 when we get married next year. I was single for 7 straight years before I got together with my fiance, and for many long stretches before that. I never settled, so I was often by myself. Sometimes I struggled, sometimes I enjoyed it. I could never have imagined being as happy as I am now, so I would tell my 20-year old self to be patient and that she will be rewarded for not settling.

  5. Omg, that video is hilarious!! I felt like the 31 year old but I was 25! I guess that is what happens when you were in a long term relationship and get put in the online dating pool. Eek, I really did feel like there was no one left! But, happily there was! I am engaged and we are getting married in August! So I think I would have told myself, calm down, this is not a race, you will not end up alone..but if you did you would have been okay!