Friday, July 18, 2014

thankful for ...

It's almost laughable how long it's been since I've posted anything.  To be honest, sometimes it feels like motherhood has kept me from being creative. Actually, I'm plenty creative with Amelia: figuring out ways to entertain her for 12 hours a day, getting her to realize that milk tastes good (even though i never thought so), and making her laugh when we're spending two hours in urgent care on a Saturday night, waiting to be seen.

But, I feel like along the way, I've lost MY creativity.  Whenever I sit down with a friend, I feel like I have nothing exciting to talk about.  The other night Jeff got home from work and said "Go do something for yourself."  I literally sat there and had to think about what I could do, and was it really worth doing?  I mean by the time I got to wherever I was going to go, was it worth it? Would I rather just veg on the couch watching terrible tv?  Did I have to put on makeup? And driving?  Ugh.  It's just that these days all I feel is exhausted.

And there's this incredible pressure to love all aspects of being a mom, but I'm gonna say it.  It's hard.  So people without children, stop reading.  I always thought it was so annoying when people complained "I'm sooo tired. I never have a moment to myself."  But, I get it.  I'm one of those people now. And I know that is 100% cliche, but it's where I am right now.  It goes without saying how ridiculously much I love Amelia. She's my favorite person, hands down, but it doesn't change the fact that some days I feel like I've lost some of my energy and I just don't want to turn into that mom whose whole life is her kids.  I want to be more for myself. for Jeff. for Amelia. 

While I'm working all that out, I'm still grateful for so many things. Here are few highlights of my week:

The Mediterranean bowl at RFD.  The almond feta is ridiculous.

Discovering a little bird's nest on our front porch. Amelia loves listening to the tweets.

Family dinners and a baby who is a very adventurous eater.

Presents from my crafty sis-in-law.  This tray makes me happy every time I see it.

Wearing pjs to Target

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