It's almost laughable how long it's been since I've posted anything. To be honest, sometimes it feels like motherhood has kept me from being creative. Actually, I'm plenty creative with Amelia: figuring out ways to entertain her for 12 hours a day, getting her to realize that milk tastes good (even though i never thought so), and making her laugh when we're spending two hours in urgent care on a Saturday night, waiting to be seen.
But, I feel like along the way, I've lost MY creativity. Whenever I sit down with a friend, I feel like I have nothing exciting to talk about. The other night Jeff got home from work and said "Go do something for yourself." I literally sat there and had to think about what I could do, and was it really worth doing? I mean by the time I got to wherever I was going to go, was it worth it? Would I rather just veg on the couch watching terrible tv? Did I have to put on makeup? And driving? Ugh. It's just that these days all I feel is exhausted.
And there's this incredible pressure to love all aspects of being a mom, but I'm gonna say it. It's hard. So people without children, stop reading. I always thought it was so annoying when people complained "I'm sooo tired. I never have a moment to myself." But, I get it. I'm one of those people now. And I know that is 100% cliche, but it's where I am right now. It goes without saying how ridiculously much I love Amelia. She's my favorite person, hands down, but it doesn't change the fact that some days I feel like I've lost some of my energy and I just don't want to turn into that mom whose whole life is her kids. I want to be more for myself. for Jeff. for Amelia.
While I'm working all that out, I'm still grateful for so many things. Here are few highlights of my week:
The Mediterranean bowl at RFD. The almond feta is ridiculous.
Discovering a little bird's nest on our front porch. Amelia loves listening to the tweets.
Family dinners and a baby who is a very adventurous eater.
Presents from my crafty sis-in-law. This tray makes me happy every time I see it.
Wearing pjs to Target